…for some reason, you’re reading this)
Updated: A Tuesday, probably.
Welcome, curious human.
First off, wow. You’re really reading the Privacy Policy? Either you lost a bet, you’re trying to impress someone, or you’re procrastinating on something truly important. Whatever the reason—respect. And while we could just throw in some serious legal mumbo-jumbo here, we figured if you’re committed to reading this, we owe you a good time.
1. What We Collect (Besides Compliments)
When you book a stay, use our website, or just wander too close to the hot tub, we might collect the following:
- Your name (we prefer to call you “legend”)
- Contact info (so we can text you poolside drink specials at 2 a.m.—jk, we won’t)
- Booking preferences (golf, spa, or naps)
- Favorite cocktail (okay fine, not officially, but we’d love to know)
- Any hilarious typos you make on our forms (no shame, “Shanegri-Llama” made our day)
2. Cookies. Not the Delicious Kind.
Yes, we use cookies.
Not the warm, gooey, chocolate chip kind—we mean the boring digital ones that track how you use our site. Honestly, we’d much rather give you actual cookies. If we could do that via browser, we would. Science, please catch up.
We use these cookies to improve your experience, analyze trends, and occasionally pretend we understand analytics.
3. Why Are You Still Reading This?
Seriously. You’re deep into a Privacy Policy. Are you okay? Do you need a spa day? Because we have one. With robes so soft you’ll question every towel you’ve ever met.
4. How We Protect Your Info (With Fortresses Made of Firewalls)
Your data is guarded like it’s a secret family guacamole recipe.
We use encryption, secure servers, and highly trained digital squirrels (not really) to keep your information safe. No shady business. Unless you count our shady cabanas, which are delightful.
5. We Don’t Sell Your Info. Ever. Pinky Promise.
Unlike that sketchy gas station website you used once in 2012, we don’t sell your personal info to third parties. We don’t even talk to third parties. We’re introverts, okay?
6. Your Choices (Yes, You Have Some)
You can:
- Opt out of marketing emails (but then who will tell you about Margarita Mondays?)
- Request to see the data we have on you (spoiler: it’s not that juicy)
- Ask us to delete it all (we’ll cry a little, but okay)
7. Children’s Privacy
If you’re under 13, go outside and play. Or build a blanket fort. This site isn’t designed for kids, and we don’t knowingly collect info from anyone whose favorite meal is still “snacks.”
8. Updates to This Policy (Because Nothing Gold Can Stay)
We might update this Privacy Policy when our lawyers get bored. If we do, we’ll post it here. We promise not to change anything too wild—unless it’s adding a llama clause (still pending).
9. Still Here? You Deserve a Reward.
Go to the front desk and whisper “I read the Privacy Policy” and… well, honestly, they’ll probably just give you a confused look. But you should get a free mimosa. We’ll work on that.
10. Contact Us (If You’re Not Tired of Reading)
Have questions, concerns, or just want to say “hey”?
You can send a carrier pigeon. We love birds. (Especially ones wearing tiny hats.)
Thanks for reading. You’re a rare kind of awesome. Now go book a massage or something. You’ve earned it.